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I saw the same question and answer on Reddit. He basically didn't know of the ants' existence.
According to the Boku no Hero Academia Wiki, it is done through touch. The process of giving and taking away Quirks is done through touch. People who have their Quirks stolen become Quirkless, ...
The fourth grave is Our!Ciel’s grave. They made graves for the four of them since they assumed they all died in the fire.